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Clumsy Crafter: June 2010

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

God station

Driving home today it started to rain. Princess goofy got all excited and yelled out that God was washing the windows. It was so funny at first to see how she connected God to the rain( of course) but then to the car windows.

As I drove along I started thinking about how God washes our windows just like a gas station attendant. Just go with me here because I have a crazy little mind. Can you imagine pulling up to a gas station and seeing God standing there? Better yet, what if he started to serve you by washing your windows so that your view is clear to see the beauty? Next He'll probably change a few fuses so that your life would have a little spark again. Finally He'll fuel you up and it will only be supreme, only the best for you.

As you stand in awe and wonder, He will point to the road in front of you and remind you to stay on the narrow road which will have much less traffic and the best ending ever imaginable.

I hope God will always be my gas station attendant but I pray that my children will keep reminding me of the simple faith that God desires.

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Sunday, June 27, 2010

I'm staying....

Staying in the middle of nowhere is hard.

There's barely any phone signal or Internet connection so no one can bug you.

There's no traffic, no billboards, no HOA regulations, no lawn mowers going at 8am, plenty of fresh air, green grass, wild plums, horses and cows.

There's also swimming, sunning, fish frys, chocolate covered strawberries, and sleeping late(r).

Not to mention that there's plenty of adults just milling around with nothing to do but provide forced free babysitting.

I guess if I have to stay for another day, I will just suck it up and take it.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, June 25, 2010

Two Things;

1. I'm getting ready to change the look of this blog again. I like how it looks now but there's a few things that I want to change. So for the next few weeks you might see a few things come and go. It's called trial and error and I'm pretty sure it's how we got our oldest child.

2. Tonight I was a first hand witness to a little thing called, "so you think you can Yoga?" between two of my sisters here in my dads living room. It was hilarious and they probably thought that I was just taking pictures for memories but they most likely will make an appearance here when I get back home unless a large sum of cash is delivered to my bank account. I have three kids to feed! It's not called blackmail, it's called being a provider....

Goodnight, sleep tight, while doing the downward facing dog.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Tip of the day

So I am finally here at my dad's house just north of Dallas. It was an extremely uneventful trip. Princess Newbie slept most of the way and we only had to make one stop in Waco for lunch. The older two girls were extremely well behaved as well except for one time when I had to get onto Princess Girly Girl for something. I told her that she was too old to behave that way and her response was, "I'm not old, I'm beautiful.". That is my new motto in life. I had to turn my head to keep her from seeing me laugh. She is something else! From now on I just want you all to know that I'm not old, I'm beautiful!

I don't know if Princess Newbie is sick or what but she did cry all evening long and was only happy when we went outside. Great. God must have known that she needed to be outside because when I was about to take her back inside, a transformer down the road blew and my dad's house lost power. No big deal, it's just summer in Texas. God really did bless us with a cooler evening than normal so it was not bad at all.

I also figured out who is he smarter one between my dad and myself. My great idea when it got too dark to be outside and had to come in was to turn on the ceiling fans. Yeah, they require electricity and we had none. But my dad had a genius idea... Seriously.... He got his solar powered garden lights, unscrewed the stake off the bottom of them and set them around the house to give us some light. We have been talking about buying some for our house but couldn't really justify the expense but now I can! If you loose power at night they will act as lanterns for up to four hours!! Brilliant, so there's your tip of the day!

Now the kids are asleep and hopefully princess newbie will sleep through the entire night and wake up her usual adorable self.

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Bird poop mobile

I'm heading out in the bird poop mobile to visit family in the DFW area for a few days.

Have I ever told you that I hate birds? Ironic....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Little photogs

This is what happens.....


When little girls steal their momma's phone. There are many many many more where these came from.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, June 21, 2010

Welcome Summer

Today was the first day of summer. Welcome to days full of fun outside, running, playing, sunning yourself, picking the vegetables straight off the vine, sitting out in the cool evenings, enjoying the longer days, rising earlier with the summer sun.


If you happen to live in the furnace known as South Texas with young children you may have a few different things to look forward to such as; huddles around the air conditioner, laying like a potato on the couch while three kids fight for the remaining space, trying to figure out how to cram your entire body into the freezer, watching the vines wilt further and further everyday, being mauled by mosquitos the first step out the door anytime past 4pm, trying to convince the kids to go to bed while it's still light, being woken up earlier than you would like to acknowledge even exists....

fun. fun. fun.

Welcome to Summer.

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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Use the Force

Father's Day is almost over. Whew. I'm so glad because it means that I won't be the only one changing dirty diapers tomorrow. Or will I?

Friday I made my usual Father's Day shirts for the girls to wear to the Astros game. Damion really liked them and I think they turned out super cute. If only the Astros would have gotten the message that there was a game and showed up to the game it would have been a great night!

I used a freezer paper stencil for Darth Vader and then used my embroidery machine for the script. Princess Girly Girl requested a pink bow for Darth Vader, not in her hair.. but on Darth Vader himself.  Hmm... I decided against that one and she was a little mad.

For Damion's actual gift I made something that I promised to make him last year. Procrastination is my second language.

It's a Star Wars tool belt to wear when he builds me stuff.

I again used a freezer paper stencil for Darth Vader and the script.

Darth Vader is on a reverse applique.

Damion claims that he may not even use it though because I put the girls hand prints and names on the back and he doesn't want to mess them up.

I can't believe how well all the Father's Day projects turned out. The tool belts and shirts came out better than I had hoped for and I had no major bloopers. Can you believe it? I can't.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.... especially to my hunk of burning love. You are the best dad and I love you.

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Friday, June 18, 2010

Father's Day Shirts

For the Past two years I have been making Father's Day shirts for the Princesses to wear on that special day. I don't know if I'm making any this year and couldn't tell you if I was because someone reads this blog...someone nosey and fatherly...So I have no idea what I'm doing for fathers day and my rule is that if the nosey, fatherly person finds out, I will change it!

So today I'll just share two past examples with you that are easy to recreate yourself.

The first one was done using Printable Iron-on transfers. They are super easy to use. All you have to do is create an image on your computer. I used Photoshop to turn Damion's picture into a black and white drawing and then added the text into it. However if you don't have photoshop, is a great free alternative. If you manipulate the photo from just looking like a regular photo, it will help it look more professional. Then you just follow the directions in the package to print it out and iron it onto your garment. Simple and inexpensive.

Yes, Princess Goofy used to be bald.

The next way is even simpler. All you need is your garment of choice (I got baseball jerseys from Academy) and iron on letters. Then I made little baseball jerseys for each girl using their age as their jersey number. It was simple and they turned out great. I don't think I used enough heat because all the letters eventually peeled off but they held on for that day!

The girl's shirts each said "Daddy's Girl" on the back and Damion's said "Awesome Daddy".

I hope that gives you some ideas of something special to do this Father's Day.

We're going to the Astros vs. The Rangers baseball game tonight with all three girls. It will be Princess Newbie's first baseball game. They always have fireworks after the game on Fridays that the other two girls love so we are all looking forward to it.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Princess Dance Camp

Here's the videos of the girls performances at Princess Dance Camp last week. I know this is a lot of videos that are pretty long but there are family members that are dying to see this. So look at them if you want, I think they're adorable but I'm partial.

Here's the first video of them dancing. Well, of one of them dancing. The other one is doing her best ice cube impersonation.

And here's what happens when ice cubes melt... Yes, I am laughing and it is a little cruel to laugh but this happens every time she has to be up in front of a crowd, it's just funny by now.

Afterwards the princesses served us cookies and drinks. Princess Goofy almost dropped her tray... go figure.

An interview with Princess Goofy about what happened to her sister followed by a surprise appearance of the Cookie Monster...

So that was our introduction to ballet.. I think we'll try gymnastics or bowling.

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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Breakfast of Champions

Remember last week when I said that Princess Girly Girl is bad about sneaking into the kitchen in the mornings and "cooking?" She doesn't use the stove or anything like that... she just mixes up things.
Well this morning Princess Goofy woke me up telling me that Princess Girly Girl was downstairs. But then a little thing called Diaper Explosion 101 happened in Princess Newbie's pants and by the time I got downstairs, this is what I found....
and this...
and this ....
not to mention this...


I called Damion and told him that I deserve a medal for maintaining my sanity.

I'm working on uploading the video of their performance to Youtube so I can show you but it's taking a long time. Also, I've been having a lot of problems with photo uploads on Blogger lately so if these pictures are messsed up, I apologize.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I Heart Faces - Babies

It's hard to believe that she will be one later this summer. I remember the day I took this picture in our front yard. I was a mess. A showerless grungy leaky mess of new motherhood. The UPS guy walked up behind me while I was trying to take this and scared me half to death. Then I turned around and I think I scared him half to death with my appearance. I'm so glad I have this picture though to remember the head full of hair, beautiful rosy lips and little tiny baby rolls. She was so peaceful and still has a peaceful spirit today.

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Sunday, June 13, 2010

Lather. Rinse. Repeat

This weekend when I went grocery shopping, I picked up these little hand soaps for $1 each. I like the colors and scents but I don't like that it has a huge Kroger label on each soap. So I decided to change it....
A little Mod Podge, some decorative papers and a printer and I now have...

This one is from a page of a vintage Golden Book that a princess tore up when she was a baby. It looks cute in their bathroom which is decorated with other vintage Golden Books.

Just a little reminder of how to do it... in case you forgot...

and just a little reminder for me while I'm washing dishes in the kitchen to keep a cheerful heart.

Much much better.

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Saturday, June 12, 2010

How to eat the rest of your husbands ice cream in a loving and dignified way

1. Make sure husband is preoccupied elsewhere such as the bathroom or in front of ESPN.
2. Quickly scarf down the rest of his mango ice cream
3. Wash container.
4. Leave a love note behind
5. Place container in same exact spot and wait for him to read your loving and carefully worded note on the bottom of the container.
6. run.

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Friday, June 11, 2010


Unless you are a tooth fanatic, you are probably sick and tired of hearing about my Wisdom Teeth. The problem is that I am living in a perpetual Ground Hog Day of Wisdom Teeth pain. I'm tired of it too but I write this blog so you'll read about it! HA! I like moments of power, makes me happy.

Ever since the actual surgery I have had a horrible pain the right side of my jaw. It hurts to open my mouth and it hurts to the touch. The pain kept increasing and so on Tuesday I went back to see my oral surgeon. He said that it was probably a dry socket but I still had my stitches in so he couldn't treat it until they came out. I was supposed to come back to see him on Thursday if it got worse. Then I woke up on Wednesday feeling like someone was filling my jaw up like a water balloon, just waiting for it to pop. The pain was intense and my jaw was ready to explode. So I went back that day and he cut the stitches and packed the dry socket. That helped some but my jaw was still sore and I still couldn't touch the side of my face.

Thursday I was having a horrible pain the other side of my face which turned out to be my stitches rubbing and pulling on my gums. I pulled those suckers out myself with tweezers. (don't tell my surgeon) The second they came out I instantly felt better.

Then today (Friday) I woke up with the pounding pain back in the right side of my face and a bad ear ache on the left side. It feels like someone is taking a screw and slowly twisting it into the back of my mouth. Then take a hammer and whack it on my jaw a few times, topped off by lighting my ears on fire and you have my level of comfort this morning. At that exact time my cell phone dropped all signals, our house phone was dead and we had no Internet. I'm guessing AT&T was having major problems around here because I saw more AT&T trucks in our neighborhood than drug dealers (just joking about the drug dealers, there's really only 2). So I had no way to call the surgeon. I kept trying and finally mid morning I was able to get a signal out on my cell to call his office. My conversation with the receptionist went something like this....

"Hi this is Bobbie ______ and I'm having some pretty bad pain again." Her reply was classic "Oh yes Bobbie, looks like you have an appointment with us on Monday at noon so we will just see you then sweetie. bye" and then she hung up. I'm not joking.

At this point please remember that I had fighting kids, hormones, no phone connections again, and intense pain. So I did what any smart woman would do in my position, I sat down and cried. It was about this time that my cell decided to work again and Damion called to see what was going on. He probably wishes now  that it wasn't working because all of hell's fury came pouring out of his hormonal wife and he received the brunt of a sobbing mess. Yes, some days I can be a sobbing mess... it's happened at lot this week since I'm tired and frustrated about all these problems after this minor surgery.

To make a long story short, Damion called the surgeon's office and they found an appointment for me. I hate the fact that he gripped at them because he's such an awesome man and I hope they know that. Actually him standing up for his wife to protect me amplifies that point but at the same time, I wish it could have worked out a different way.  I was in our room with soaking wet hair, pajamas and not ready to leave yet when he told me that they would see me immediately. So I had to throw the princesses costumes for their Princess Ballet camp recital on their backs, brush their hair, find Princess Newbie a dress, throw on my own clothes, pull my hair back and run out the door with no make up and puffy eyes. Yeah, we were a sight to be seen. I had hoped to spend a little time pampering the princesses before I took them to camp. I wanted to make sure they really shined on stage and let them wear some lip gloss and a little eyeshadow. Instead their hair looked experimental and Princess Goofy was commando under her tights. I got three out of the four of us out of the house with underwear in under ten minutes, I think it was a success.

My surgeon, who I really do like, saw me immediately and packed the two dry sockets that I now have. He still has no idea what is going on with my jaw and I don't think he gets it that it is the majority of my pain right now. I'm going to discuss it with him again on Monday.

I made it back to our side of town in time to drop the Princesses at camp, run home and do my make up and then back to the camp in time to watch their little performance. Of course one princess did great and one froze and then freaked. We had bets riding on it, I knew it would happen. I recorded all of it, including the freak out and I'm going to work on getting it posted this weekend. We have a fancy video camera that neither of us can remember how to transfer the movies over. I should go ask the drug dealer down the street.

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Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Because I still feel bad from the idiotic wisdom teeth removal and because I'm throwing myself a massive pity party.... You get stuck with a few measley photos from my phone. However if truth be told, this is the purest glimpse into my life that I could possibly give you.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, June 6, 2010


Today has taken every single ounce that I have.

Friday the surgery went well even though I couldn't feel my tongue or most of my face until Saturday morning.

Saturday wasn't bad either. I slept a lot and finally was able to feel my temple by mid afternoon. My chin finally got feeling by bedtime. Saturday I decided to ditch the pain pills because they make me so tired. I cannot function but then late during the night I needed some help getting comfortable so I could sleep so I took half of one pain pill.

Today I have taken three naps. I am exhausted. My mother in law who was a life saver left early this morning which means that I was left with three super hyper children having Mimi withdrawals. Really the older two girls have been pretty angelic today but Princess Newbie got two new teeth this weekend, when I lost four teeth, and she is fussy. I have not seen her this fussy ever. I think Damion and I spent half the day taking turns trying to make her happy. The other half of the day I slept. I am so very very tired.

I know this might be TMI to the few guys who occasionally read this blog I didn't realize until tonight that one of the reasons I have been so tired is because I'm still nursing Princess Newbie and she's taking half of my calories right now. That wouldn't be a bad thing except I've been living off of low fat yogurt and sugar free pudding cups. I think I've ate less than 600 calories everyday for the past three days and princess Newbie is taking a lot of those calories. Combine that with no protein, no vitamins, and tons of druggie hangovers and I just can't make it much more today.

I'm about to try and get all three girls to bed early and then I'm going to bed too, if I can make it that far.

Friday, June 4, 2010


They are out. I woke up several times during the surgery but never felt any pain. I told the surgeon that I loved him when it was done. I do love him.

I've had a little pain but nothing to rival natual childbirth.

My lips are huge even though they are starting to go down. I still can't feel my cheeks or lips. I'm drooling like a sailor and it's bloody drool. (you're welcome)

Angelina Jolie would be jealous of these lips.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The one

Someone cut her hair today. I'm not talking about a few small snippets of hair. There was A LOT of hair missing from her head. If there was ever a kid that pulled every trick in the book of growing up, this is the kid.

She was the one that got a chair and pushed it up to the counter as a toddler only to get a bottle of kid's Tylenol off the top shelf, open the childproof cap, and drink it. (yes she was OK, yes we called poison control). Apparently it is safe for a kid to drink 1/2 of the bottle. No joke. They told me it would be OK, just watch her.

She is the one that drew ginormous smiley faces all over her bedroom wall in permanent marker.

She is the one that asked me to get her hard foods to eat so her teeth will fall out. She is desperately and impatiently waiting for the tooth fairy to bring her a prize.

She is the one that used to put her baby sister in the backyard and leave her there.

She is the one that put dawn soap in the dishwasher. I have never seen so many bubbles in my life.

She is the one that used to lock Princess Goofy in a dark closet, and laugh.

She is the one that carved a little square into our dining room table with scissors.

She is the one that makes concoctions in our kitchen before we wake up in the mornings (she's sneaky).

But maybe she's just getting us back because she's the one that we put naked in an easter basket.

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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

If anyone lacks Wisdom...

I did it. Today I set my appointment to have my wisdom teeth taken out by an oral surgeon. My stomach is doing little tiny back flips that will probably be replaced with triple sow cows (ice skating jumps) ala Nancy Kerrigan by Thursday night.

On the surface I appear cool, calm, and collected however I am not. I have never had any type of surgery before and I have never had any type of anesthesia. The idea of pain isn't really bothering me because I feel bad right now and I know that I will feel better after they are taken out. Mentally the worst part for me is just the surgery and the unknown. Being put to sleep for the first time is very nerve wracking but I do have to have knee surgery soon and I know I'll be under heavier sedation then so this is just a little stepping stone.

I could go on and on and on about this, trust me, I've had approximately 3,000 conversations with myself about this. Do you do that? Do you have mock conversations between yourself and someone else in your head? Or is it just me? I wouldn't be surprised if it was just me. Sanity is not my strong suit.

Thursday I'm going to go stock up on soft and gooey foods, plenty of movies, and my favorite Sweet Leaf Mint and Honey tea. Then on Friday I'm going to get up, pee in my pants, change into my big girl panties and then go let some strange man cut up my mouth to remove my wisdom. Try not to be jealous, I know it sounds like a blast!

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