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Clumsy Crafter: September 2009

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Before Kids

It's hard to remember the time before kids. Maybe because we were newlyweds and we fought a lot so we block it out on purpose. But there was a time when there was no crayon on the walls, pee on the carpet (just being honest), or little squares carved into our kitchen table.

So what did we do before we had kids? We had dogs.

We were one of those crazy couples that treated their dogs like babies. Everyone told me that once we had kids the dogs would be put out back and not spoiled anymore. I denied that it would ever happen!

Now our dogs live permanently in the backyard. It happened.

But today seems like a good day for a trip down memory lane. As they say, the proof is in the pudding.....

We taught them tricks. Yes, he does sit on his rear end with legs out.

We chased them when they ran away. Now I don't have time to chase them.

They slept on our furniture. Now they can't even look at it!

We took family pictures with them and gave these pictures away as Christmas gifts to family.
laugh, it's ok.
We took pictures of them with reindeer antlers for our christmas cards.

We started our family with them.
Don't worry, they are still well loved. This morning while I was upstairs getting dressed the princesses decided to feed them breakfast. They had a bag of oranges, a few tortillas, and an entire bag of dinner rolls. Life is still good, even when you have to sleep outside.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Too Cute For Tuesday

Princess Newbie freshly bathed, chillin' with her paci. Does it get any cuter?


Monday, September 28, 2009

Introducing Sewing

My kids love to watch me sew. I don't know if it's because they wait to see what I'll accidentally sew together and then make up inventive words to vent my frustration or just because it interests them. So I decided that it was time to introduce them to sewing.
Before you can walk you gotta crawl and before you can use the sewing machine, you gotta know how to hand sew. It's true. I decided the first step to teaching them to sew by hand is to show them how you have to use the needle to go through the materials. So when I was at JoAnn's the other day I picked up a plastic grid and a package of plastic sewing needles. The needles are dull and should not hurt them. I already had yarn at home. If I had to buy yarn this project would have cost less than $5 for two children.
The plastic grid was a little large for small hands so I cut it into four pieces. Next I threaded the needle with a long piece of yarn and tied a large knot in the end.
First I just let both girls play with it for a few minutes to explore. Then I showed them how to push the needle through the grid and then back up again to make straight lines. I can honestly say that neither of them can sew a straight line yet and that they never did proper stitch but they really loved it. Princess Girly Girl worked the longest on her project and kept coming to me to get more yarn.
I had hoped that this would be a project that we could take on road trips with us for them to work on while I drove but they really sew too quickly and require more yarn every 5 minutes but this is a great way to introduce them to the basic stitches of sewing.

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Few Things....

I have a serious post/ tutorial all ready to post but I'm sleep deprived and we all know I can't be serious when I'm only going on 4 hours of sleep. Not only that but I have been fighting this massive allergy attack for almost a week now. And no, it is not the swine flu, although someone did seriously ask me this question.

So in order to save us all from mass delirium, I will just do a short post that will hold little to no barring on the world and go to bed.

The name of this post shall be, "A Few Things About Me."

1. Our bed is really high and I cannot reach things that fall on the ground when I am sitting on the bed. Yet, I always feel compelled to try and get stuck in these really weird yoga-ish positions while calling for His Royal Highness to help. But he never shows up and I have to slither to the ground, landing in a weird heap on the floor. I guess once he's the King he figures he doesn't have to be the knight in shinning armor anymore, at least not when it comes to his wife falling off the bed.

2. I wear our kids in a ring sling. I like how close it keeps them to me and the fact that it lets me be hands free doesn't hurt. However the ultimate best reason is that it hides the baby fat. I just had a baby 8 weeks ago. The pooch is still there and was still there from the other two. Can I say pooch? Anyway, you put the baby in the sling and no one looks at your midsection, they only ooohh and ahh over the baby. It is my number one secret for new moms. The sling hides a multitude of wrongs. In fact, it's time for a small confession. I wore a horrible stained shirt to hobby lobby last week because I knew that the sling would hide all the stains and I was just too worn out to go look for a different shirt. No matter what has landed or leaked on your shirt or your waist, a sling can hide it all.

3. If I could choose to be doing anything in the world at this time right now. I would choose to be a wife to His Royal Highness and a mom to my three princesses. I am happy.



Wednesday, September 23, 2009


This pictures describes me perfectly today. Unraveled. Messy. Ugh. Blah. Not too pretty. Needing to be ripped out and done again.

I have been working nonstop the past few days to get many smaller projects done. I love being busy with projects again and I love the fact that my floor was actually mopped today with an actual mop, not just kids in socks that have been sprayed with Pledge. Not that I would ever do that. But there is a time to rest and I know I overlooked that time. I am now sick. I think its just allergies but being up with a baby at night and going nonstop during the day will wear your body down and allow those allergies to attack you with a vengeance.

My throat hurts, I'm coughing, my head feels like I let a heavy metal band practice inside of my skull. Now I'm starting to feel light headed and dizzy. (There's your chance for a million jokes). So tomorrow I am going to work on some projects in the morning but tomorrow night I plan on resting and spending it with my family. The cakes that I needed to bake for the cake walk at the fall festival will just have to be bought (GASP!) but I'd rather be healthy and happy than stressing myself over cake. The yucky frozen mass produced cakes will just have to work. Can you tell how much I love them?

So here's a glimpse of the projects I have been working on, just to prove that I am not laying on the cough all day eating bon bons. I only do that between the hours of 2-6pm.

Gift set for a baby boy

Thunder Cats and Batman onesies

A few very special blankets
I do have two tutorials to post in the next few days but my head will have to stop pounding first!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Common Sense.. Or So I Thought..

Just a little warning to parents:

Do NOT let your children suck on packages of raw meat at the grocery store... or let them pretend that a raw pork loin is their baby doll, holding it and kissing on it, unless you want them to get a little thing called salmonella poisoning.

I thought I would never have to tell anyone that but believe it or not, I saw a woman at the grocery store today allowing her three year old girl to do all of this!

That is all I'm going to say on this matter because it just stupifies me!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Rockin' Blog

Truth be told, I will never have a rockin' bod. Three kids and 3,000 little debbie snack cakes have prevented me from seeing the light at the end of that tunnel. I'm lucky to even see my shoes when I look down. The closest I figure I'll ever get to claiming to have a rockin' bod is that if someone misunderstands me when I say "Rockin' Blog". So here's my newest feature - The Rockin' Blog.

Occasionally I plan to highlight one of my favorite blogs and then I'll add it to my blog roll for you to find in the future. So here we go with the first blog.....

Skip To My Lou

Many people ask me where I get the ideas that I do with my kids. I have a secret weapon and it's called

This blog is awesome. I really love the ideas and the layout. If you need a quick gift for a teacher or you need a decorating idea for Halloween, it's definitely the blog to visit. The menu on the left side of the screen makes finding great ideas as easy as it comes. I looked under recipes and didn't see the recipe for little debbie snack cakes but there is an awesome scarecrow cookie that might make it's debut at our church's fall festival on Friday.

The ideas for kids are out of this world. Have you ever wondered how to make your own stickers or chalk sidewalk paint? Don't buy the expensive kind in the stores! make your own! That's just some of the awesome ideas. Go to this site, check it out, and save yourself some money!

Give it a chance and you'll be back again. I love it!

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Friday, September 18, 2009

Dog Catcher, do the dog catcher....

You think these are the faces of angels however our dogs now disagree. After weeks and weeks of being trapped inside during the hottest summer in Houston's history, the weather is finally cooling down and the girls can go outside to play again.

So what game would be fun when all you have is two dogs and an old baby pool? Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah, Bow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah. Do the dog catcher, dog catcher. Do the dog catcher. (yes I only remember the craziest oldest songs possible)

The princesses finally did catch our brown dog, Gershwin, under the pool but I was able to stop them right before they both jumped on top of the overturned pool.
Don't worry, the dogs actually loved the attention and all was forgiven by the end of the day.
But Snoopy would like donations to go towards a playhouse or swing set. :) He's getting old and his little black and white spotted heart can't take this much longer.


Thursday, September 17, 2009

Make It Work

I LOVE Project Runway. We used to have DirectTV and did not get the Bravo channel. One of the main reasons I wanted to switch to Dish Network was just to get the Bravo channel. We finally switched just in time for it to switch to Lifetime and spend the entire season locked up in court on who actually had the rights to air the show. AGH. I was almost giddy when I saw in on the fall season schedule for Lifetime. Ok, I was giddy. I have every season DVR'd, including this one so far.
Now that I have all that explained, Does anyone else plan outfits that they would make for that challenge while they watch it? Sometimes I wish I would have gone to Fashion Design school just so I could be on this show! But then it never fails that the designers whip up these amazing outfits in just a few hours and I'm reminded that I should stick to things that don't require measuring or square corners. Plus I'm too dorky. Seriously, who would want to watch a contestant singing the theme song to Fresh Prince of Belaire or Sir Mix Alot's big butt song?
One of the contestants just called another guys dress, "Dinosaur Chic"!!! I love it! Off subject but Princess Goofy can't make up her mind if she wants to be a dinosaur or tinkerbell for Halloween. Maybe I should make her a dinosaur chic dress to wear.
So who else plans dresses in their heads while they watch Project Runway? or wishes that they could just stand next to Tim Gunn. I bet he smells good. He just looks like he would.


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Single Ladies

I'm not a musical person. I really can't tell you who is on the radio today or what songs they sing. I can do the entire rap from The Fresh Prince of Belaire. Yes, that is my biggest achievement yet to date.

After hearing about the entire Kayne West/Beyonce/what's her name deal the other day I looked up Beyonce's song on YouTube to see what all the fuss was about. First of all, if I ever tried to move like that my hips would permanently pop right out of place. I'm not joking. I would be under 30 and having to use one of those walkers with the little seat that you can sit down on when you get tired. Secondly, the song got stuck in my head for days.... days!!! ugh.

So today in an effort to get it out of my head, I went back to YouTube and looked up my favorite comedian, Chonda Pierce. She claims that her parents named her Chonda because her daddy liked Chevy and her mom drove a Honda. I tried to name Princess newbie Toyonda since His Royal Highness loves Toyota and I drive a Honda but he said no. Sometimes I think that guy lacks imagination. :)

As a parting gift, I am leaving you with one of her skits. She is so much funnier in person. If you get a chance, go see her in person or watch her skits online. The one about Rehab is funny yet very true.

If you just fall in love with her and have to have one of her CD's, I recommend "Four Eyed Blonde." The story that she tells at the very end of the CD will remind of you of your true inner beauty. It's my favorite and makes me cry every time I hear it.

Facebook Musings

Crazy Facebook posting for today:

ok, so i think i have it working again. downside is that it now has a grain of rice stuck in the charger plug. :)

I know what that was referring to, but do you? haha.

Thanks to Beth for my laugh today.


Monday, September 14, 2009

New Projects

I've been working the past few days on some new projects. This is the brand new stack of fabric I got to work on the projects with:

This is the brand new stack of fabric once it got into the hands of the Queen. The Queen of Chaos and clumsiness.....

Hopefully I will be done with my projects soon.
By the way, if anyone wants a monkey applique that might be glued to my ironing board, let me know!

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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Laws of Fashion

Everyone knows that true Princesses do not live by the laws of fashion. They are royal so they set their own laws. Brown socks with silver shoes? done. Green Frog rain boots with a yellow easter dress? perfect. Accessories that would make Anna Wintour blush? psshh.... whatever.

This is how we roll. Don't question it.

Side note: Princess Newbie has not all the sudden grown two feet and can now peek over the back of the couch by herself. His Royal Highness was hiding and holding her up.


Friday, September 11, 2009

Note to Sewing Machine

Dearest Butthead,

You can be replaced. Straighten up and sew better or you will meet the recycle bin.

The Queen

When you woke up today.....

Many years ago when my mom was telling me about her memories on the day that JFK was assassinated she told me, "You will never have an experience in your lifetime that you will remember as clearly as I remember the day JFK was killed." We had no idea that years later terrorists would attack America using airplanes.

I remember that day so clearly. I had the flu and was asleep on the couch when my dad received a call telling him to turn on the TV and watch. He woke me up and together we watched as they talked about the plane going into the first tower. A few minutes later as he was getting dressed, I watched the other plane go into the second tower and called him to come see. My dad went onto work that day but I stayed home on the couch and watched the news coverage nonstop. There were prayer rallies popping up all over our small town that I couldn't attend because I will sick. It was such a sad day with worries of more attacks to come. Later it became clear that the pentagon being hit and the plane landing in the field were also parts of this evil plot. My dad and I watched President Bush address the nation that night together. His speech was respectful yet uplifting. That night I received and email from this guy that I had a huge crush on. The first line of it started with, "when you woke up today, did you know that something like this would happen?". Weeks later I went on my first date with this guy. In November we will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary.

The world changed that day. People flocked to churches. Some stayed there, others never went back again. People wearing head scarves were stared down in public for years, security no longer a privilege in America. Horrible things happened that day but there was some good. Love was starting to grow that day and it continued to grow. For some if just meant banding together in support, for others it meant that their future spouse was already starting to lead and guide them.

I am blessed with my Royal Highness.


Thursday, September 10, 2009

2 Things

Yesterday I did two things strictly for myself. They may not seem like they were for myself but later I realized that they made me happy, really happy.

Thing 1: I stopped cleaning and sat down to cuddle with Princess Newbie when she was crying. I didn't hold her and continue to clean one handed. I sat, cuddled, and smelled her head. Life is good.

Thing 2: I told the older Princesses yes instead of no. Try it. It made them happy and made my life easier. I think I tell them no more than I should. Life is an adventure, even if it means having glue and sequins stuck all over the place.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

We're Home

After a really long labor day weekend, we are home.
I am exhausted today. I have so much to put away and pick up but I am struggling to get off the couch. Princess Newbie didn't sleep as well in the strange places we took her this weekend so my sleep was limited as well. Now I'm debating about lunch. Do I actually go put on clothes that match and run to the nearest drive thru or do I go make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the kitchen? It sounds like an obvious answer when you're really tired and may not want to get up and get dressed but we are out of all things containing caffeine at the house.
I need a boost. What to do?
In random thoughts, I posted this picture on this blog entry because it scared me. I took it this weekend for fun and then I forgot about it. Today when I was uploading all the pictures to the computer I thought it was a picture of a snake and about jumped a mile. Then I realized that it was just a wayward aloe plant. Then His Royal Highness called to tell me to resize the pictures because they were huge. Then I gave up and decided just to veg out for a bit before finishing the pictures.
Now I'm done. Back to lunch plans.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

3 strikes you're out! Plus one!

Yesterday was nuts. crazy. true life.

The day started when I woke up at 5:15 and noticed that His Royal Highness was gone. He leaves early in the morning but his alarm usually goes off at 5:15 and there was no alarm, no HRH. I sent him an email asking why he had already left. His reply was simply, "because the plane leaves at 7." Plane? What plane? Apparently he had forgotten to tell me that he had to go to Dallas for work. UGH. That meant he would be home late. Strike one against my day at an hour that I would prefer not to be awake.

Mid morning I decided to take the girls to get their haircut. Princess Goofy was beginning to look like a wooly mammoth and we will be seeing a ton of family this weekend in DFW. I took them to a salon in Katy that I have used before for my own hair and I knew they had one of the salon chairs that looks like a car for kids to sit in. The car chair was broken. I should have walked around the corner to Cool Cuts for Kids right then. The girls did great but the stylist did horrible. Princess Girly Girl's haircut was over in less than 2 minutes. I am not joking. The stylist literally just did a straight cut across the back of her hair and pronounced her done. Remember that the kid is 4 and cannot sit still. So therefore, a straight cut across the back of a wiggling kids hair equals zig zags gone wild. She didn't cut the sides or anywhere else. I should have known then. Next was Princess Goofy and she actually cut the top and sides of her hair but she forgot to cut the right side and didn't touch the back. hmmm... The kid looked like she had a wooly mammoth mullet. I was mad but I'm too nice to say anything. I paid the $25 freaking dollars and marched my special looking children out of there. It was strike two.

I decided that fixing my children's hair was more important than naps so we skipped that and I got out my scissors. Princess Newbie was asleep on our bed, being the perfect angel that she is. As I was trimming Princes Girly Girls hair, Princess Goofy announced that she had put the baby in her bed. My three year old just moved my newborn into the bassinet next to our bed. I thought my heart was going to skip right out of my chest. The baby was fine, baptized into a life with two older sisters, but momma was on the verge of a meltdown. Strike three.

The good news is that I did get their hair fixed to a point where I can go into public with them. I'm not so sure I can go into public with His Royal Highness but that's for different reasons.

A few minutes later I was sitting in our office decompressing from the wildness of the day and I heard The oldest princess tell me twice that Princess Goofy was hurt. I didn't hear any crying so I slowly walked to the hall, not really in a hurry. I saw Goofy at the bottom of the stairs, just starting to cry, with dark red blood pouring all over the place. She had tripped and hit her lip on a plastic boat. I immediately starting wondering how I was going to get all three kids to the ER. The good news is that when I cleaned it up, it was a very small boo boo and Princess Goofy shook it off like the clumsy pro that she is. strike four.

My wonderful neighbor came over in the evening and played with the girls and gave me a small break until HRH arrived home. It was such a nice break.

The day wasn't a total loss. As our neighbor was leaving, Princess Goofy ran to give her a hug and told her, "thanks for playing chalk with me." I had not prompted her to say thank you. She just did it. I was so proud of my big 3 year old. I think that saved my day.

Hopefully the trip to DFW this weekend will give me a break and let everyone meet the newest princess.