Facing Giants

I'm not a confrontational person. I'd rather classify myself as a walking, talking doormat.

Actually if you asked me to stand in front of your car so you could run over me a few times, I'd probably say ok, just because I wouldn't want to tell you no. That's me in all my glory. I hate to let people down and I hate to disappoint people. Somewhere along the way I convinced myself that if I can't be 100% superwoman for every person that asks me to be anything, than I'm disappointing them. It's something I'm working on and I'm pretty good at asserting myself with Damion. Just ask, he'll tell you. I'm super good at telling my kids no but that's a whole nother' story.

Lately I've been watching a little girl every other week for the entire week. She is the sweetest thing ever except for her fascinating with coloring on everything except paper (she's just barely 2). The best thing is that she doesn't say "yes", she says "yesh". I ask her about 100 questions a day just so I can her her say "yesh", in this little tiny mouse voice. love it.

The problem is that it was really hard on me. I couldn't leave the house and if did then I had four kids out with me aged 1,2,4, and 5. I know there are moms that do this on a daily basis and you are my hero. However, it's not something that I had time to morph into and get used to like you do with a baby... It was hard. I have barely left the house the last three weeks because of this and then the in between week is when I hurt myself with the dryer episode. So this week I was starting to go a little nutso.

Ok I was more than a little nutso. We have a great rhythm to our family that includes a family dinner every night with time spent together and then a quiet bed time routine. When I'm watching this little girl that doesn't happen because I have to run like a crazy person to do errands when she's picked up close to 5.. then I have to make dinner... clean the kitchen... bathe the kids.. and get them in bed and then go pick up the house again and feed the dogs and now there's a turtle to feed. I usually have dinner made and the house picked up when he gets home. There has been no down time, no family time.. and Damion has been having to do homework every night which takes away my time with him and some help. (I am extremely proud of him for pursuing more school though)  If you're still reading with me.. way to go.. I'm just venting.

All this novel just to say that I was exhausted. I'm still hurting from the stupid ridiculous dryer stunt. and then today I had to tell her grandmother that I just can't watch her anymore. Hello! I'm the one that avoids confrontation. I would have rather had a lobotomy even though they wouldn't have found anything up there to remove.

But I did it. I told her and I felt better instantly. I may still watch her for a few days while she finds someone else but I feel like I can get back to normal, back to what I love about our family, back to hurting myself with the dryer.

So if you're still reading with me than you get a reward for enduring this torture...

A picture of a little pot belly beauty following her turtle. She's still trying to figure that thing out....

I'm looking forward to a peaceful weekend. Are you?